Light Me Up
by blackoutbenz
Summary: Draco Malfoy is tired of not being able to choose what he wants, and tired of being the bad guy. He wants to change, but could he ever be anyone else but himself? Maybe, just maybe Hermione could change him.


**Authors note: **This is my first Dramione fic. Yay! I've been having a bit of a writer's block so try and hang in there with me. There are lyrics included, kind of adding to the storyline, I thought it fit, in the metaphorical sense anyways. I think I might add one for each chapter, maybe? There are so many songs that fit Dramione. Think of it as an all-inclusive book _and_ CD! Just kidding. The song is called Light Me Up by The Pretty Reckless. I would love any kind of feedback!

**Disclaimer: **I do not own anything and I probably never will.

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><p><strong>Is what I'm saying seem to haunt you? Well, that's okay. 'Cause what I'm saying about you is not okay. I've got it on my mind to change my ways, but I don't think I can be anything other than me. No, I don't think I can be anything other than me.<strong>

Draco closed his eyes and took a deep breath, when his eyes opened, a door appeared in front of him. He was going into the room of requirement, he needed to mend the Vanishing cabinet, but instead, he found a room he'd never been in before. An empty room with a mirror placed in the middle; the Mirror of Erised. Draco knew about the mirror, it showed you your desires, but he had never looked into it before. Harry bloody Potter and Weaslebee had seen it, but then they never spoke of it again. Served him right, that Potter. He probably saw himself dying. As for Weasley, well he probably just saw himself eating food.

Draco knew he shouldn't go in, but curiosity seemed to get the best of him. He looked behind him and quietly shut the door, inching closer to the front of the mirror. There were many things Draco imagined he would see, maybe himself being head boy next year, or succeeding in killing Dumbledore. He suspected the second one, but what he saw in the mirror made his jaw drop. Draco Malfoy kept a lot of secrets, but this one he had made sure he'd hidden away, deep in his mind where even he tried his best not to think about it.

There stood him and Hermione Granger, dancing at the Yule ball together. Then it flashed to him and her standing on the astronomy tower, holding hands. It pained him to know that the mirror was right, but it also pained him to know that what he saw was what he wanted more than anything. Of course he could never tell her, he was pure and she was a mudblood. He had teased Granger since he first saw her, but something changed in the last few years. He couldn't quite explain it, but all he knew was that it was forbidden for him to ever love her.

He clenched his fists and banged on the mirror in frustration. Everything was bottling up inside him, and he had no choice about anything anymore. He had to kill Dumbledore or else Lord Voldemort would kill him. He had to become a death eater. Oh, and he could never be with Hermione Granger because—he just couldn't.

Making his way back to the Slytherin common room, Draco spotted Hermione, studying on the windowsill with Luna Lovegood and the Weaslette. He tried not to look at her, but he was soon interrupted by a perky Pansy Parkinson, who nearly jumped on Draco.

"Hello there, Draco." Pansy said flirtatiously. He gave a slight smile back. Pansy annoyed Draco, but he had to deal with her since their parents were friends. She usually did most of the talking, whereas Draco mostly pretended to listen.

"You know, Slughorn is going to assign partners for the potions project. Would you like to pair up?" She asked, tugging at his tie. He pushed her away.

"Pansy," he sighed. Talking to Pansy was like talking to a two year old. "You know as well as me that Slughorn always assigns partners." Pansy's face dropped to the ground, nodding slightly.

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><p>Horace Slughorn's advanced potions class was restless, they were waiting to be assigned their partners for their big project. Fortunately, the class was advanced so no one had to worry about having a dim partner. Well—Lavender Brown wasn't <em>that<em> smart.

Professor Slughorn called off a long list of names. Hermione's stomach dropped when she found out who her partner was. Of anyone else, she would have to be partnered with Draco Malfoy. Pansy Parkinson shot her a glare, but Hermione ignored her.

She calmed herself down, Hermione was shy to even think about it, but she may have had slight feelings for Draco. He was quite handsome, and he was clearly up to her academic level. He was smart and he could keep up with her. Whenever he insulted her, Hermione was always quick to blurt out a comeback, and it kept on going.

Draco stalked over, he was contemplating whether he should be nice to her, or insult her. After he had seen them in the Mirror of Erised the day before, he had wondered if Hermione truly hated him. Maybe he could just be nice to her and see how it went. Draco was tired of being known as the imbecile, he wanted to change, but he knew people would think someone had slipped something into his butterbeer.

"So, what will we have to make?" Hermione asked, rather polite. She figured that she wouldn't be rude to Draco unless he said something to her. Although a feeling in her gut made her think an insult wasn't too far away.

"Veritaserum as well as Amortentia. If we get it perfect, we pass the first half of the course," Draco explained. "We should do Veritaserum first since it's easiest, then we can devote the rest of the time to making Amortentia, that'll be a tough one." Hermione didn't say anything, she just nodded.

In the hour, they had almost finished their Veritaserum, but they had to find the time later that night to finish it. They met up in the potions classroom, where Slughorn said they could occupy the room until they finished it. Hermione really wanted to pass the first course, Harry was doing better than her, and she couldn't help but feel a bit jealous. She was always used to being the best at everything.

"I'll test it." Hermione offered. Draco obliged, taking a bit of the potion and putting it into a vile. She closed her eyes, and silently toasted to herself, hoping she wouldn't spill anything too important.

"So Granger, are you jealous that Potter is doing better in potions than you?" Draco asked. He knew Hermione would never admit that with her own will, she never wanted anyone to know that she was jealous. She blinked her eyes shut and fought to shake her head, but she knew that the potion had worked, and she ended up nodding. Draco chuckled a bit.

"Jealous little mudblood, aren't we?" Draco laughed. He wondered what her comeback would be whist under the control of a truth potion.

"Think you're funny, don't you," Hermione started, clumsily sitting on a stool. "I've got some news for you, Mr. Malfoy, the term mudblood doesn't faze me anymore. So what, I'm jealous! It's human nature. Are you jealous that you're not the spotlight of the school because my best friend is the boy who lived?" Hermione finished. Even telling the truth, she had a bite to her. Draco went numb, he was a bit jealous of Potter because he was popular, but he was jealous because he got to spend so much time with Hermione. Luckily, _he _still had his will.

"No, I'm not. Now shut your mouth before I snap this in half!" He reached for Hermione's wand and held it at both ends. Hermione's eyes went wide and she rushed over to him.

"Please don't!" Hermione reached for her wand as Draco held it above her head. She jumped to grab it but he moved his hand towards the vile, accidentally spilling it all over her wand.

"You wash that off right now! You're awful." Hermione groaned. And that was the truth, he was awful, but she couldn't help but like him. It was terrible, she hated herself for that.

Draco just nodded, stalking off to the sink. While he grabbed the sponge, he subconsciously put the wand in his mouth to keep it from falling as he turned the faucet on and grabbed the sponge. A few seconds after, he had realized what he'd done. Immediately, he removed the wand from his mouth and threw it into the sink.

"Shit." He mumbled, washing off the wand. He knew it was too late; he was now under the influence of the truth. That was dangerous, especially for him.

He tossed Hermione her wand and slumped onto a stool.

"At least he potion isn't ruined." Hermione said optimistically. He just rolled his eyes.

Hermione took this as the perfect opportunity to ask him something. She figured this could be her one chance to unravel the mystery that was Draco Malfoy.

"Malfoy, I _always _see Pansy Parkinson tugging at your sleeve. She likes you, don't you fancy her back? Most Slytherin boys would jump at the chance to shag her." Hermione smiled deviously, she knew he was getting angry.

"No, of course I don't fancy her. She can't keep her legs crossed for two minutes. She's an annoying git. I wouldn't be talking to her if our parents weren't friends. She makes me want to rip my damn hair out." He admitted. It didn't stump him much though, Hermione could've guessed by his body language that he didn't like her.

"Why Granger? Got a little thing for me?" He raised his eyebrow. Hermione went stiff.

She really tried to hold her tongue as best she could, it wouldn't be long before the effects wore off. She felt it weakening.

"I think you're a good looking guy, Draco. But you're an ass. Why would you care anyway?" She asked out of curiosity.

"Because… I would care. I do care about you Hermione. Even ask my friend Erised." Draco blurted out as if he was riding on a high horse. But moments after that, he seemed to have sobered up. He froze as Hermione stared straight into his eyes. Draco was silently cursing the Veritaserum.

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><p>The next day would be awkward. In the Great Hall that morning, Hermione was eating breakfast with her usual friends. She chose not to tell Harry or Ron about the incident last night, she knew they would go straight to Malfoy.<p>

Draco walked right into the Hall, and froze in his step. He stared at Hermione for a moment, causing her to look up. But not soon after that, he turned around and walked right back out. Hermione closed her eyes and looked down. She realized that Harry had seen.

"Hermione… What's going on?" He asked her in a stern voice.

"Nothing!" She pleaded in her usual bossy tone. She chose not to tell them, it'd be for the better. She would just have to go at it alone. She pretended nothing ever happened and took a sip of her pumpkin juice as she opened up the Daily Prophet.

"Harry, is your scar okay?" Hermione asked, concerned. She also needed to change the topic and get rid of the elephant in the room.

Harry shook his head. He always denied when his scar pained him, but Hermione knew better. Voldemort was getting stronger by the day. Harry was still under the impression that Draco was a death eater—which Ron and Hermione both thought was mental. Hermione decided to get up from the table and find Draco, if they were to continue being potions partners, they needed to clear the air. She found him reading a book by a windowsill.

"Malfoy—" Draco stopped Hermione midsentence.

"Listen Granger, last night never happened. I certainly do not have feelings for you, even though it came across like I did. The feelings I have for you—are like everyone else. I do care about you, you know, I care about how people make fun of you and use bad insults. You deserve much worse. In fact, I'd almost like to think of that as my job! Caring about making sure someone uses the right insult on you. _Mudblood._" He spat, getting up and walking away.

Hermione dropped down onto the windowsill where Draco had previously sat. She was so incredibly stupid for thinking Draco could ever have feelings for her!

Draco felt a twinge of guilt as he walked away, his lie didn't exactly make sense, but when it comes to relationships, girls would believe anything, no matter how smart they were. He truly did have feelings for Hermione, but he couldn't let that get in the way of his task or the rest of his life. There was no time for change.


End file.
